I give God the glory!

Choosing

2011-09-18T10:48:00.000-07:00

Are we choosing sin? Am I choosing darkness instead of light? The Bible says that with each temptation I am given a way out so I might be able to bear it. I take this as a promise. If I get on my knees when tempted to overeat, spend impulsively, or gossip, God will give me a way out. I need to take the way out and listen and obery.

stop

2011-09-10T08:27:00.000-07:00

My goal is for 7 days to eat when hungry, hungry enough to eat liver, which I do not like very well, stop when the hunger goes away, and pray about my choices eating what my body wants.
Most of all I want to put God first. I want to eat out of stomach hunger and not head hunger. If my soul is thirsty or hungry I want to go to Him, the Living Bread and Water and not to food. Help me in these endeavors, Jesus.

Love

2011-05-19T08:11:00.000-07:00

I am sorry it has been so long since I posted. I checked my blog and could not believe that it was January since I had last posted.

The Lord is speaking to me about love being the motive in this weight loss and in maintaining the weight. I love Him and am thankful to Him for creating this temple, so I want to care for it properly. I love my family so do not want to burden them with physical ailments just because I do not care for my own body.

The Lord is also speaking to me about crucifying the flesh. To, in all areas, do what pleases the Spirit and not the flesh.

Thought provoking

2011-01-02T14:13:00.000-08:00

I heard something today that goes right along with TW. A TV minister said that we either live by principles or by preference. If we live by preference we live for our own pleasures. If we live by principle we live by what is right no matter how we feel.
He also covered the fact that our body is not our own to do with as we please. It is the Temple of the Holy Ghost.
That makes me think twice before having that fourth cup of coffee or about overeating.

Holidays

2010-11-29T08:40:00.000-08:00

The holidays can be very difficult in eating situations. Help us, Lord, to focus on our relationship with you and with people instead of on the food.
On Thanksgiving, with God's help, I was able to stay within hunger and satisfaction parameters. I am noticing that these rich foods are not whole body pleasers. Even though I did not overeat my stomach was a little upset.
I will pray more about food choices.

November

2010-11-06T18:17:00.000-07:00

This is Thanksgiving month and I have so much to be thankful for. Two family members came through surgeries very well and with good reports.
During these stressful times the Lord dealt with me about standing on His word and His promises and not wavering no matter what circumstances looked like. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways and if I say the truth one moment and speak out of fear the next I will not be in faith at all.
I can't say there was no turning to food for comfort, but very little. Thank you that you change us little by little, Lord, and that your mercies are new every morning.

Turning

2010-09-11T05:57:00.000-07:00

I have retired for the second time and am realizing how important it is to allow ourselves to feel our feelings.
The ususal response for me would be to go immediately to something else. I know this is a big change and a loss for me and if I do not take time to feel the grief of that I will be eating, dieting, or keeping super busy.
I am so excited about the emotional healing that is taking place in my heart.
Thank you for emotions, Lord, and for showing us how to handle them and express them.

Heart

2010-07-25T12:42:00.000-07:00

Author Beth Moore says that "the heart of any plan is seeking His plan"
This is so true. With eating we must agree to not eat unless hungry and stop when satisfied. If I do not eat within these boundaries I am overeating .
What works for me, however, may not work for another person. My husband is diabetic so he may need to follow guidelines that his physician has given him and when he seeks wisdom from the Lord he may hear something different than I do.
The Lord may instruct me to fast for awhile and just seek His plan for my eating. Another person may not be instructed to fast at that time.
Seek Him and His plan.

Buffets

2010-07-05T09:23:00.000-07:00

I am so thankful for this way of eating. My husband and I just had a wonderful vacation. We ate out at a buffet two different times. I did not overeat at either buffet. I put the meal on one plate and kept portions very small.
The last buffet had a dessert buffet as well. I ate half a roll but no other starches. I like sweets so took 3 desserts and ate a bite of each leaving me at only a 5 on the hunger scale.
At one time I would have filled my plate 3 times.
I spent a great deal of time in prayer and surrender just as I need to do with other areas of my life.

lust

2010-06-18T06:25:00.000-07:00

I believe the Lord is showing me that behind this eating too much is lust.
The Lord has led me for the last 2 days to watch Creflo Dollar. He is speaking on casting down every thought and imagination that exalts itself above the knowledge of Jesus Christ. The sin starts in the mind as a thought and as an imagination, or an image.
I picture the sundae or cookie in my mind, I think about the sundae or cookie. If I do not cast down that thought by holding it captive, rebuking it out loud, and then boldly speaking a Bible verse, I will yield to temptation.
This is helping me so very much. It is helping me not only in eating but also in other areas. Last night I came home from work at midnight. As I pulled into the garage I knew it was dark and I was alone. My husband was snoring in bed. I started to get fearful thoughts about what could happen to me. I held that thought, rebuked it, and started speaking the Word aloud. I felt peace before I walked into the house.
At work, people were talking about food. I started thinking about eating a snack. Instead I took a walk up and down the halls, held that thought captive, rebuked it and said Jesus is Lord, not food. Soon the temptation left and I did not eat until my stomach was hungry. To God be the glory.

as a child

2010-06-07T08:47:00.000-07:00

If we would remain as a child I do not believe we would have these food issues.
I observed my 7 year old Grndchild yesterday. She laid down for a few minutes because she was sleepy. After about 15 minutes she jumped up and started playing on the trampoline and playing with her hula hoop. Her body knew it needed to move.
After about 30 minutes of this she said she was hungry. I served her supper of which she ate about two thirds, said she was full and was ready to play again.
Help us to remain as children, Lord, and to trust what you have already programed into us. Help us not to interfere with the things you have built into these little ones entrusted into our care.

The Bread of Life

2010-05-02T12:45:00.000-07:00

I hadn't been sleeping well at night. I tried cereal and milk sometimes, I tried laying there and meditating, I tried changing positions, hugging pillows etc.
Last night I decided to stay up until I was really sleepy and spend time with the Lord. I talked to Him about not being able to sleep and asked Him to help me. He led me to the Beatitudes and to Come unto Me all ye who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. He also led me to another Scripture.
If this works with sleep it will work for anything. Forgive me for not coming to you first Lord.

April

2010-04-01T08:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think we focus too much on our program and not enough on the Lord. I continue with the Eden Diet and Thin Within which are both similar and are Bible based and hunger fullness plans.
My focus right now, however, is on the Lord Jesus Christ and what He did over 2000 years ago. I sense His presence as I follow along in the Gospels what He was doing on Holy week. Today I enjoyed reading the Uppper Room Discourse as He spoke some of his last words to His disciples. I read His prayer that He prayed for His disciples and the prayer He prayed for me. Thank you for your love for us, Dear Jesus.

Practice His Presence

2010-03-07T10:55:00.000-08:00

The sermon today really spoke to me. Practice His presence at all times. Pray without ceasing. Take off the old man and put on the new.
I thought this applies to TW. At lunch I invited the Lord Jesus into my meal. I looked at His picture which hangs in the kitchen. I thanked Him for creating that wonderful food. It made such a difference in how I ate. It was easy to follow the 8 keys when I practiced His presence.

Take off the old man and put on the new. The old me was so food focused and the eating was for my pleasure. Even losing weight was for the praise of man and not for the glory of God. I want to glorify God in my eating and body.

Why do we make this so hard. When our bodies tell us to eliminate or sleep we do it. We have gotten so wordly in our way of thinking about eating. All we have to do is think about other things and when our bodies are hungry feed them until satisfied with whatever our body is calling for.

Flesh

2010-02-07T14:24:00.000-08:00

This eating is all about living according to the Spirit and not the flesh. I really want my motive to be to glorify God. To glorify Him and honor Him it is important that I walk decision by decision according to the Spirit.
The Lord will guide me only to do what is good for my body which does not include overeating.
Help me to do this, Lord not only in the area of eating but also in every area of my life.

New Book

2010-01-24T10:47:00.000-08:00

Wow! I haven't posted here in too long! Sorry!
The answer isn't another book. The answer is surrender to God in this eating area as well as in other areas.
Having said this, I must confess to you that I have found and read another book on hunger fullness. Another Christian book. This book is one of the best I have read. The Eden Diet. Most of what the author talks about is said in a different way in either the TW or WD book, however, all of these authors offer at least one thing the others do not.
The author is a Doctor and has struggled with obesity herself. The thing I gain from this is her approach to sweets, which have been a weakness for me.
Go ahead, indulge in one more book, you avid readers.

conditions

2009-12-14T10:18:00.000-08:00

I am learning that the 0-5 eating varies. I just spent 2 days with family in a large university hospital. I noticed it was taking about twice as much as usual to get me from 0-5. For example I ate a whole sandwich at lunch while I usually eat half. I ate 3 pieces of fish for supper while I ususally eat 1. Yet I still ate 0-5. I believe the stress in combination with walking miles must have been the difference.
I am glad to be home since the most important part of dealing with any stronghold is prayer, surrender, and spending time in the Word. With all that has been going on these things have been cut short.

Roots

2009-10-13T10:44:00.000-07:00

I gained one and one half pounds in a month and started getting into some old crazy thinking. I cried out to the Lord to be set free from this and He began showing me some roots. Many cases in my childhood when different relatives fed me instead of talking to me, pointing me to the Lord, and listening to me and hugging and loving me. I learned at an early age, and repeatedly, that food makes me feel better during stressful times.
I felt badly, but am now thankful for this weight gain. I am feeling more compassion for people who are in any addiction. At some point, they were in distress, and a substance made them feel better, thus setting up a stronghold.
The Lord came to set the captives free, and as we come to Him, grieve out those places, ask Him to show us where He was in those instances, ask Him to use this for His glory, surrender these areas to Him, and pray, and quote scriptures of truth and His promises these strongholds will tumble in the name of Jesus.

Continuing

2009-09-07T12:10:00.000-07:00

As I coontinue this program I notice some changes. In the beginning the focus was on me doing the 8 keys and how well I did them.
The more I study this program and the longer I walk with the Lord the more I focus on the spiritual concepts and on honoring God and the less I focus on my weight and my performance.

Jesus satisfies

2009-08-20T10:34:00.000-07:00

Jesus is teaching me that He is the only thing that satisfies. I ate a piece of cobbler. It tasted good but the good feeling did not last. I bought some new jeans. That was exciting for a day, but then I lost all enthusiasm. I started a new job. That was exciting for a month. I received a lifetime longing for a dream I had. The joy from that lasted for a week.
Only Jesus satisfies the longing of my heart. He is the only constant in my life. He really is the Bread of Life and the Living Water which sustain me.

living according to the Spirit

2009-07-24T06:34:00.000-07:00

The Lord is speaking to me this morning that TW is simply living according to the Spirit and not the flesh.
At work I pray before doing almost everything and the Holy Spirit cares. He guides and directs me.
TW is doing the same thing with my eating and exercise. I need to ask Him to be my guide and then know that He will help me and comfort me and that I do not need comfort from food and He cares more about my body than I do. It is where He dwells.
I will do this today and be excited to see the results.

attributes

2009-06-22T09:43:00.000-07:00

Online at TW under the leadership of Heidi who helped write TW book we are doing a thourough study of the TW book.
We are praying and praising God for His attributes.
I was reading John 17 and praying this out loud for myself and for other believers and something jumped out at me that I had never seen. Verse 23. God loves us as much as He loves His Son. I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
This is NIV. The New Living says as much as you have loved me. I got only a glimpse of how much He loves us.
Oh to know that we are fully loved and accepted my Him. What a difference that would make in how we view ourselves, thus making total love for self and others more attainable and therefore our weight struggles less and our fredom more.

masterpiece

2009-06-07T14:26:00.000-07:00

If only we could see ourselves as God's masterpiece. That we are one of a kind and unique and that God loves us just the way we are.
God has been speaking to me about how we are all unique. Then at our Church the children sang a song about this very thing.
If we can get a grasp on this and on His love for us it will affect our image of ourselves and thus affect our eating and body image.

In the eating arena, I am going to the table and applying the 8 keys at every eating occasion. I have done this at meals, but I am now doing it even if I need an apple between meals. It makes such a difference in how I enjoy the food. I also have been praying more about choices etc. I thought I don't know whether God will answer something this piddly or not. I prayed about breakfast and did not think I was going to get an answer. Then just as I got to the kitchen and decided to make my own selection the thought came to me to have some oatmeal. It was just what I needed and had not had any for a long time. God does care about every detail of our lives.

Heal

2009-05-31T14:31:00.000-07:00

I am going through the Heal book now. I always have something I am doing in the area of food and eating in addition to regular Bible reading. This is so good. Right now I am going through Psalm 139 a verse at a time just like the Heal book suggests. There is so much growth in this for me. To read and pray about each verse and journal about how this applies to my weight and eating.

wow

2009-05-01T18:41:00.000-07:00

Wow! This month has gone fast! It has been almost a month since I have posted. God has been dealing with me about many things. I have been on my face and knees confessing my sins. Sins of rebellion associated with the overeating. Sins of laziness and selfishness. It became very clear to me that when I deliberately disobey God in these areas it is rebellion. I was horrified by this. I am so glad He is a loving God and that we if we His people who are called by His Name will humble ourselves and pray and seek His face and turn from our wicked ways then He will forgive our sins and heal our land. I feel cleansed and refreshed after doing this. I also notice that my eating goes better when I walk more closely with Him.

vacation and step 12

2009-04-04T08:48:00.000-07:00

Vacation was wonderful and I actually released 2 pounds this month. This is about exactly the weight that is good for me.
I enjoyed all of my favorite foods within the parameters of 0 and 5.
Something that is coming to me is that doing step 12, sharing this message with others, is absolutely essential to my healing.

vacation

2009-03-20T14:08:00.000-07:00

I am going on vacation for a week. One of the things I enjoy about TW is that I never gain weight on vacation. I eat all of the foods I enjoy within the parameters of hunger and satisfaction and pray and seek the guidance of the Lord.
It is so neat that food is no longer the focus but relationship with God and family are the focus on vacation.
The changes are gradual but they come with time as I stick with it.

The joy of obedience

2009-03-07T11:01:00.000-08:00

There really is joy in obedience. I have really struggled with eating between hunger and satisfaction for breakfast and at bedtime. This has shown up in a little weight gain. I spent a lot of time in prayer the night before last and asked the Lord to help me just for the next day to be obedient.
It was 915 before I reached hunger. I usually get up and eat no matter what but continued in prayer and was able to not give into temptation. Instead of the usual hunger at about 1030 requiring a snack, I was not hungry. Then at lunch it took very little to get me to a point of satisfaction. I felt such joy.
If I sense this kind of joy over one act of obedience in this area there must be joy if I seek to be obedient in other areas as well.
The other thing I feel like the Lord is once again speaking to me is that my motives are to be for His glory. That is when this will work. Sure diets help people release weight even if the motive is a smaller size, but we as Christians need to want this for the glory of God. When someone asks or notices it is a tool I can use to lead them to the Lord or into a deeper relationship with Him.

Jeremiah 29

2009-03-01T10:37:00.000-08:00

In early prayer I had been praying to the Lord and confessing my sins and telling Him how helpless I am to help myself in the area of eating and in the indirect way I express my anger.
Just when I think I am making progress I stumble.
I opened my Bible during early prayer and there before my eyes was Jer. 29 verses 11 through 14. For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest , you will find me when you seek me. I will be found by you, says the Lord. I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and bring you home again to your land.
In times of trouble when I feel I am not making progress in these areas of my life God has not forgotten me. God may be preparing me, as He did the people of Judah, for a new beginning with Him.
May this first day of March, where there is hope of Spring, be a new beginning.

Seeking His Plan

2009-02-17T08:17:00.000-08:00

I was so touched by a post on the TW forums. There was a lively discussion going on about 2 different Christian weight loss programs. About which was best, pros and cons etc.
Someone posted that all of the authors are human and therefore err. That only God is perfect and we need to go to Him for our guidance.
This is so true. He wants me to be at my ideal weight. He created us, He loves us, and He will show us the way for our lives if only we will trust Him and obey.
To obey does not mean I have to be perfect. It means I need to confess and repent on a regular basis and follow His guidance as He directs in the Word and as He speaks to my heart.

FLesh Machinery

2009-02-09T11:02:00.000-08:00

After reading from TW about flesh machinery I realize that food still means too much too me. I still eat for pleasure and comfort at times.
I want God to be first in my life and for Him to satisfy me even more than the richest of foods.
I want Him to be my all.
Help me Lord to have no other Gods before you. You are enough.

21 days

2009-02-04T19:38:00.002-08:00

We had the most wonderful sermon about taking 21 days to form a habit.
I want to practice what I heard and spend 21 days recommiting to this program. I want to invite the Lord into every eating occasion instead of trying to do this on my own and then to be obedient to what I feel I hear.
As soon as I think I do not need to pay attention and try to do this on my own I fail.
I think God allows this thorn in the flesh to keep me dependent on Him. To show me just how much I really need Him. That I can't even take care of simple meals without Him.

trusting God

2009-01-16T10:56:00.000-08:00

After being retired for 2 years God is calling me back into the workforce. I was fearful and prayed a lot about this. Every day God assures me that when He calls me He equips me. That it is not me but Him.
This makes me think of my eating too. The more I rely on Him and the less I rely on me the better this will work.
If only we could learn to trust Him more and rely on Him more in all areas.

Our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made

2009-01-02T10:34:00.000-08:00

God has made our bodies in such an awesome way. No human can ever come close to His creation.
He built this hunger mechanism into our bodies. I have noticed that some days I require more.
Wednesday I exercised in the morning and went to a dance in the evening. I had a lot more activity than usual. Thursday I was so hungry every 2 hours so I ate more. My body needed more.
Over the Holidays I ate more rich food than usual but still between hunger and satisfied. Now my body is telling me to eat plain wholesome food.
Another thing I have noticed is that our brain is a fabulous computer created by Almighty God. Our eyes, ears, nose and mouth program the computer. I do not want a junky computer so I want to program it properly with the Word of God, positive confession, listening to wholesome things and never looking at evil such as what is so often at the movies and on tv.

Galatians

2008-12-15T08:58:00.000-08:00

I read the book of Galatians this morning. I thought how much we can apply the lessons in this book of the Bible to our eating. We are no longer under the law. We live by asking and allowing the Holy Spirit who lives within us to guide our eating.

I am making a couple of changes. I am finding that coffee is not a whole body pleaser for me and rich holiday treats are not whole body pleasers for me. The treats are causing me to feel sluggish and the coffee stimulates my bladder and my appetite.

More about Holidays

2008-12-09T09:29:00.000-08:00

Help me, Lord to not make Holidays an excuse to get back into old habits of lusting after food. Help me to exalt you and to put you first. You truly are the Bread of Life. Help me to come to you for all my needs instead of turning to food or business. Help me to be a good example of self discipline and obedience esp. during this season of the celebration of your birth. Happy Birthaday,Jesus.

Holidays

2008-12-01T11:54:00.000-08:00

I want to glorify God in my eating as well as in all areas of my life. I spent hours with the Lord on Thanksgiving from 5am until 9am. I decided that if Jesus needed to spend all night in prayer before choosing His disciples I need to spend at least that much time in prayer and in the Word before tempting situations. I was so richly blessed. The day went smoothly and without dysfunction or strife, which is unusual when we get together. My Daughter even commented on how relaxed I seemed, which is also unusual for me since I do not believe the gift of hospitality has been one of my gifts. I did not overeat and the rich food did not even appeal to me. I experienced unspeakable peace and joy not only that evening and day but also the next day.
What a lesson for me. Abide in Him.
The answer is so simple and I make it so complicated.

a breaking of my will

2008-11-23T11:43:00.001-08:00

During early prayer at Church this morning the thought came to me that I am like a wild horse that had to be brought into the will of its Master in order to be used for the purpose for which it was created. I weep as my will is being broken and as I pray over and over again, not my will but thine be done, Jesus.
It is my will to overeat because it tastes good and temporarily relieves stress. It is God's will that I glorify Him in my body because my body is the Temple of the Holy Ghost.
I think how Jesus gave up His place of glory to come to earth and that all He did was to glorify the Father and how he agonized in Gethsemane when He yielded to the Father's will that night.
I had many selfish dreams for my retirement. To travel, lay around and read novels, rest a lot, spend lots of time running around with my Husband. Not so. Christians who retire do not get to retire. We are here a short period of time and to live for self is not the desire of the heart of God.
How does God feel about the homeless and the Fatherless? We can easily find that out in the Word. My desire is to have the house to ourselves. We have one of our adult children living with us who would otherwise be living on the streets. Help me to be happy with your will, God. We help care for Grandchildren two of whom have a Father who is not there often and another whose Father is very sick and unable to be a Father. Not my will but thine be done, God. Help me be happy with your will.
In the food area, the old me would have thought I will eat whatever and however much I want on Thanksgiving. The will of God is that I glorify Him even on this day and that I focus on Him and my relationship with Him and on my relationship with others and not be a glutton on that day but to show others that I can be happy without worship of food or self.

living in the Spirit

2008-11-10T08:26:00.000-08:00

In my eating and in everything am I living according to the flesh or according to the Spirit.
I am sad to say that much of the time I live in the flesh. Our mind must be set on the things of the Spirit. Col. 3:2
If I am living in the flesh I dwell on past failures, disappointments, or victories.
I dwell on the future. On what my fantasy life will be like.
I dwell on my plans, agenda, and way of doing things independent of God.
I dwell on and compare myself to others.
I dwell on food and eating or some other pleasure of the flesh.

When I live according to the Spirit
I dwell on God's provision.
I live and enjoy the present life in the present.
I dwell on God's Word and my identity in Christ
I dwell on His will, agenda, and enabling grace.
This provides a sense of peace as I trust God while melting down to my natural size. Romans 8: 6
This lesson from workbook number 2 really spoke to me. Lord help me live according to the Spirit not the flesh. Help me cast down every thought and imagination that exalts itself above the knowledge of Jesus Christ not only in eating but in all I do and to give you the glory, Dear Father God.

the key

2008-10-30T12:22:00.000-07:00

I am going through TW workbook number 2. I have gone through this before but this time something really jumped out at me that did not jump out the first time. A section of this lesson says that the key is to quit trying by our own strength and start trusting by faith.
Faith involves turning away from the law and trusting in the Holy Spirit as we walk in the power of God's transforming grace.
Reexamine your hunger numbers and make adjustments
Observe and correct by the leading of the Spirit.
Pay attention to how your body responds to various foods.
Continue to taste God's Word and see that the Lord is good.
God knows what I need and when I need it. I got really offtrack on my eating 2 or 3 times in the last couple of weeks. He feeds me His Word and speaks to me just exactly what I need when I need it and how much I need. If I follow the lead of the Lord He will do this with my food and eating times as well. I just need to trust and obey.

Listen

2008-10-19T13:10:00.000-07:00

It is so true that we need to learn to listen to our bodies. I do not believe that our bodies will lie to us.
When my body tells me I am hungry, I neeed to eat. When it tells me I am no longer hungry I need to stop eating.
I had been working very hard gardening, babysitting and cleaning. Yesterday my body said it was time to rest. I took a nap, slept all night and feel better today but I am still tired so I am getting extra rest again. It is a temptation to drink something with caffeine or eat something with sugar to give myself a boost, but in the long run this would not benefit me.
What is your body telling you today?

surrender and boundaries

2008-09-29T13:08:00.000-07:00

I am talking about surrender and boundaries this evening at Thin Within. Lord, help me to practice what I preach. Help me to acknowledge you in all my ways and you will direct my paths. Help me to ask for wisdom, because as I ask for wisdom you are more than willing to give me wisdom. Help me to set Godly boundaries and allow only in my life, property, and body what you want. In Jesus Name, Amen

Love

2008-09-22T12:53:00.000-07:00

We had 2 good messages at church yesterday. In the morning it was about seizing the moment. In the evening about love.
Today God is speaking to me more about love. What would happen if I would stop before every action and word and pray and think is this love?
Love God and love people. This really is what God wants from us.
Part of loving God is caring for my body since this is His creation. Part of loving people is caring for my body.
After working in the medical field for over 40 years I have found that if I do not take care of myself someone else will have to do that. This is how loving people comes into play.

reflex or reflect

2008-09-17T11:38:00.000-07:00

I love part 2 of chapter 8 from the book Thin Again. I want to learn to apply this to every area of my life.
When tempted to react to anger with anger or to arguing with arguing I want to learn to pause, think, pray and listen to God before speaking.
When I am tempted to binge or overeat I want to be able to pause, pray and listen before acting.
Help me to hear your voice, Lord and to obey you in everything. Help me to know your Word so well that I will automatically know what to do according to your Word.

Victory

2008-09-06T10:34:00.000-07:00

I am thinking of all of the changes that have gradually taken place in my heart and my eating habits since beginning this program.
I learned of TW in 2004 and began practicing the things taught. I had done WD before. I have now been at my ideal body weight for over 4 years. Within my normal bmi since Jan. of 2004 and at my current weight since Nov. of 2004.
I have never maintained weight in my life for more than about a year and a half. In my heart I know this is a permanent thing because for the first time I have included God and have not tried to do this in my own strength.
Some of the victories I have had:
Last night my husband and I went to the movies. We were about the only ones there without popcorn, candy, and drinks. Do you know that I did not even want any? I just wanted to hold my husbands hand and enjoy the movie.
I rarely think about food unless I am hungry. If I do think about food when not hungry I know something else is bothering me that needs dealt with.
I have not binged in over 4 years.
I rarely eat when not hungry or beyond satisfied.
I enjoy my meals and what I eat for the first time in my life.
I no longer take body measuremnts or weigh.
I am at peace with my body. Wrinkles, gray hair and all.
I no longer worry about my shape or size. I pray a lot about my eating, don't eat unless hungry, stop when satisfied and leave the results up to my loving Heavenly Father.
I thank you so much, Jesus for making these changes in me. I would have never thought it possible to be set free from this bondage of over 40 years, but you have set me free and I am free indeed.

Prayer

2008-08-26T13:17:00.000-07:00

Prayer does change things. Most of all it changes me. I am working on the first TW workbook and the topic this week is prayer. It is such a privilege to live today under the new Covenant. To know that because of Jesus we can go into the Holy of Holies.
I find it interesting that as I pray for a person who has offended me I start having a heart change and get a whole new perspective.

He is the Lord that healeth

2008-08-18T11:46:00.000-07:00

I have found that in leading support groups and in one on one counsel I receive more than I could ever give.
In both support groups I have been talking about the importance of hitting this healing hard so we can leave the past behind. I am trying to practice what I am asking of others.
As I work through the past and unwrap the grave clothes and allow God and others to help me in this process I can sense healing in my own soul.
As I have journaled and prayed about my childhood and talked to others about it truth has come forth.
I had a memory of when my Mom was talking on the phone and had apple pie cut in pieces cooling on the table for the threshers to eat. I did not think she could see me so I took a bite of each piece of pie. One piece I took a big bite out of. My Mom really shamed me for doing this.
I was about 7 years old. My punishment was to eat with all those men at the dinner table. My Sister served me the half eaten piece of pie after the other men were served there pie and she said "here is your piece of pie". The family really smiled about that. I felt ashamed of eating even then. Like I did not even deserve to eat. I felt like I had to hide to eat. This feeling later manifested in binging, bulimia, and anorexia.
I know my Mom did the best she could but what I needed was for her or someone to talk to me about why I felt the need to hide and eat. The last thing I needed was more shame heaped on me in front of a table full of men.
I am so glad I can tell the Lord how I feel about all of this and even in old age it is not too late to receive healing.
As I talked to the Lord about this and cried until I was exausted the load started feeling lighter.
After I was done journaling, crying, and praying I just sat quietly in the Lords presence. After a few minutes I heard Him singing to me in my spirit. " I am the Lord that healeth thee I am the Lord your Healer. I forgive all your sins I heal all your disease. I am the Lord that healeth.

forgive

2008-08-15T11:49:00.000-07:00

I am journaling about my journey in life and as I journal I pray, grieve, and sometimes talk to a person about it. I am finding that as I get rid of the garbage in my life and learn to forgive myself and others I am not as concerned about eating or my body and I rarely overeat. This works. God is good. He is faithful.

inner healing

2008-08-06T13:10:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 130 am on Thursday and felt like the Lord was speaking to me. Memories of childhood and previous times in my life were coming to me. How I had felt so alone and like I had to do it all myself. I attached to food, work, books, and relationships. I am learning to let go of these false gods and turn to the Lord for all my needs.
My God will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory.

key 5

2008-07-30T14:10:00.000-07:00

This is my favorite key. I was on legalistic diets for so long with a lot of food rules. It still amazes me that I can eat foods I really enjoy and feel good and still maintain the weight release. Before maintenance I was amazed that I actually released weight while eating my favorite foods.
Today our neighbor brought homemade applesauce which was still warm. I went to town and bought icecream and had that applesauce with icecream for lunch and nothing else. I was at a strong 0 so it really tasted good. Thank you God for this new found freedom
I also must remember that even though all things are lawful not all things are beneficial. Also to eat in moderation and always invite God to guide decisions.
For example I like the taste of folgers coffee in the evening but if I drink it I am awake most of the night so it is not a good choice for me. I like pizza but have swelling in my fingers and legs if I eat a couple of pieces so it is not a good choice.

weightism

2008-07-17T09:42:00.000-07:00

What is weightism? Weightism is the same as racism or being sexist. Do we accept ouselves right now the way we are or are we being weightist against ourselves. Do we allow others to be weightist with us?

If I can't accept and love myself when I am heavy I probably will not when not heavy. If I do release the weight without accepting myself I will probably be weightist toward others who are struggling when the weight is released.

Are there any areas of prejudice in my life that are displeasing to the Lord who loves all people, all shapes and all sizes.

valuable

2008-07-03T11:41:00.000-07:00

This morning during my prayer and Bible study I felt like the Lord was telling me that He loves me. That I am valuable and precious to Him. He loves me enough to die for me.
Oh Lord, if only we could see ourselves through your eyes. I wept as you told me of your love. Forgive me Lord for the way I have treated this body and soul that you regard as precious. That you created. Forgive me for the way I have allowed others to treat me, your prized possession. Help me to treat myself and others as valuable and loved. To see us the way you see us.
In Jesus Name, Amen

observe and correct

2008-06-23T13:05:00.000-07:00

This has been a fun month socially with many reunions and celebrations but a difficult month with eating temptations.
There have been so many events with lots of rich food available. I have prayed and read the Word and have still given in at times eating beyond 5 and eating before 0.
I am so glad God gives many chances to observe and correct, or confess and repent.
Galatians 5:1b tells me to stand firm,then, and do not let ourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
In TW workbook it tells me to allow the Spirit to be my fresh beginning each time I need Him.
Rather than looking for and external do or don't look to Jesus for guidance.
Lord, help me please as I go on vacation for 10 days to not yield to temptation but to glorify you not only in what I eat and drink, but also in what I say and do. Please give me opportunities to speak up for you. In Jesus Name, Amen

Grace versus legalism

2008-06-16T11:24:00.000-07:00

We have a monthly support group at my Church in addition to the weekly community support group.
This month we are challenged to pray for a greater sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. For this month to ask God how much, what, and when to eat and then to obey.
In addition to this to grieve out the pain of why we have focused on food or eating laws to avoid facing what is going on with us.
Grace is freedom that conforms us from within. Legalism is bondage that constrains us from without.
Do I want to achieve a certain weight at all costs?
Do I think losing weight will solve all my problems?
Am I focusing on my weight, a diet, or even the 8 keys to avoid the deeper issues?
I challenge myself and all of us to go back to that time in our lives when we used these things to escape.
Thin Within Temptaion Busters:
STOP: Stop and flee from evil desires. 1 Corinthinians 14: 20
LOOK: Look for God's prepared path and turn away from temptations. Jeremiah 6:16
LISTEN: Listen to His voice as you draw on His grace and power to pursue godliness. John 10:27
OBEY: As you do what He asks you will experience joy! John 15: 10 and 11

victory

2008-06-02T08:50:00.000-07:00

As I have submitted to the grieving process and allowed God and others to remove the graveclothes from me I am seeing victory in my life.
In May I attended my allschool alumni banquet as well as my class reunion.
Due to the pain of my past I had felt unable to go to the alumni banquet for years and had never gone to a class reunion.
As I speak openly about the pain of my past and grieve and allow others to help with this unwrapping, I am able to remember good times in the past. When I refused to face the ugly I also blocked out the good. I was able to visit with and enjoy these people at both occasions.
I was able to focus on relationship instead of food. At one time I would have buried my face in the food if I did go to keep from connecting.

struggles

2008-05-26T08:21:00.000-07:00

No matter how long I have been doing this I still have attacks. There is nothing satan would like better than to derail me in this area and to destroy my testimony. My motive is to glorify God in this.
I weighed at the Doctors office and weighed the same as I did about a year ago during my last visit. I was so happy. I can really trust God with my body.
Then I started focusing on food, overeating, and getting a little too relaxed in this area.
Our Pastor Doug gave a sermon that after success is when we really need to be aware. Help me Lord to not give into temptation.

who we are in Him

2008-05-20T11:36:00.000-07:00

I love the workbooks! I am on week 3 which has lessons about who we are in Christ. I am a new creation. I am a brand new person. The old has gone the new has come. I am valuable and precious. Jesus loves me just as I am. He died for my sins. Past present and future sins.
Oh God, if only we could catch just a glimpse of your love. I pray for a great revelation of your love. Of how deep and wide and great your love is. Help us to know you better and to see how good you are.
Thank you for loving us.

progress

2008-05-13T18:46:00.000-07:00

I usually only weigh once a month. It had been close to a month and I had access to scales so weighed today. I was pleased that I am still maintaining. I give God the Glory.
The scales really aren't that necessary. I can tell by the way my clothes fit and just by the way I feel about what I weigh.
I also know that if I truly try to put God first, pay attention to my body signals, and only eat 0 to 5 or between hunger and fullness, I will maintain this weight.
I am having 1Cor. 6 verses 19 and 20 as my memory verse this week as I go through TW workbook number one.
These verses speak of our body being the Temple of the Holy Ghost and to therefore honor God with our bodies.
I have spent a lot of time in tears repenting for the ways I have defiled my Temple. It is really God's. He created me. To think of the smoking, drinking, overeating, undereating, purging, binging. How sad these things must make Him. I truly want to glorify Him and to care for any precious gift He has given me.
Forgive me Father.

listening

2008-05-05T18:45:00.000-07:00

I enjoyed reading the last chapter of Thin Again today. The essence of the chapter is that quiet and silence are needed in order to hear from God.
We discussed that listening to God and obeying are more important than asking for so much so often.
One woman suggested we meditate and pray on scripture and ask God what He wants to show us through that scripture and then listen.
Another way is to meditate on the attributes of God. For example, Healer, Redeemer, Provider, Protector.
In Thin Within we need to get quiet before we can read our body signals of hunger and satisfaction. The environment needs to be calm and quiet so we can taste and enjoy our food and have it digest properly.
God will guide and direct our eating and every other area of our lives.

Holy action

2008-04-28T14:22:00.000-07:00

First I would like to say that as I have prayed and gotten back into online support group and on the TW boards God is giving me victory in the areas of eating breakfast the minute I get out of bed and also at bedtime. Thank you Jesus.

I will continue to post the first part of every week about what the Lord is showing me. I continue in the study of Thin Again. The chapter is chapter 9. Holy action.
Most of us put up a front. We do not want people to see us as we really are. We put distance between ouselves and others by isolating with food, books, computers, alcohol, business, or any number of things.
The truth is that as we become transparent and reveal the true person we are we give off the fragrance of Christ.
We need to put on the full armour of God instead of going to our substance. First to recognize and confess our weakness and then put on the armour of God as described in Eph. 6

support

2008-04-22T12:37:00.000-07:00

Today I want to emphasize the importance of support. Asking for help means I have to be humble and this is not always so easy to do. I have to surrender this area of my life to the Lord and also submit to other Christians who are walking this path.
Even though I teach this, I still struggle at times. I had gotten so caught up in helping everyone else and seeing what they needed to do that I was neglecting my own support. I had skipped several weeks of my own online support group where I go to learn and receive. Thus I had gained a couple of pounds. That is always a thermometer that something is off.
I returned to that support group. I told them of my struggles. They prayed for me. someone suggested I fill out the hunger graph for a week or so which is found in the Thin Again book. Someone else told me in love that she thought I was operating in my own performance instead of yielding to God. I put these things into practice and in 8 days the weight was off. In doing the hunger graph I noticed I truly was not eating 0 to 5. I also made sure I started spending time with the Lord first thing in the morning instead of running right to breakfast whether I was hungry or not. I prayed more about this area of my life. For this to work we must submit.

my story

2008-04-20T12:11:00.000-07:00

I will finish my story today.
After the divorce I felt ashamed and lacked confidence and really got into the eating disorders badly. It was easier to make this my focus than to deal with my heartache. I decided I would rather die that be overweight again. I went from chronic dieting and exercise to overeating and purging and back again. I looked good on the outside but was the most messed up on the inside I had ever been.
I met a wonderful man who has loved me unconditionally and I felt cared for for the first time in my life.
Even though I had grown up in church and asked Jesus into my heart as a child I had rarely prayed or read my Bible. After getting married and having a beautiful baby I decided God was there and that He was good. I started reading my Bible, praying and going to church.
When I was 33 years old, after my second child, I went forward and totally surrendered my life to the Lord . Shortly after that I received the baptism of the Holy Ghost. Right after that I was delivered from smoking, drinking, and a very negative gossipy attitude.
However, it never occrred to me to pray about my eating. I thought I had to do this all myself and that I just had a low metabolism. So I continued on the diet and overeat roller coaster. Still purging occasionally. Maybe 3 times a year. Anything to keep from getting fat again. God just suddenly delivered me from the binging and purging. I quit doing that as my soul became more satisfied in Him.
Our pastor began teaching us about grieving out the pain of the past and telling our story. I told a lot of my story and grieved a lot but still did not pray about the eating.
Shortly after our church started my Daughter loaned me the book Weigh Down. I skimmed through it and read the part how to feed your stomach and that was the only part I paid attention to. My performance, not the spiritual principles. Once again I lost the 15 pounds I had gained only to quickly regain it plus 15 more pounds. At this point I was driving home from work after weighing and began crying and grieving and yelling and telling God I can't do this anymore, God, this has messed up my whole life. I need your help. All I had to do was ask. He then intervened. I read the Weigh Down book again and this time studied the spiritual principles and prayed about my eating. This time the weight came off. There was then a lot of controversy about Weigh Down and I began thinking maybe I shouldn't be doing this and got very confused. At that point my Daughter loaned me another book using the hunger fullness principles. This book is the plan I have continued to use and I lost the last few pounds. My weight bounced around for awhile and finally settled where it is now at my normal bmi. The weight has stayed off now for almost 4 years. When I gain 2 or 3 pounds it is a spiritual thermometer. I am usually focusing too much on food, not facing my pain and grieving it out, or getting up and eating instead of making God my top priority of the day. I also get out the hunger graph and record my hunger numbers for at least a week and find that I am slipping and really not eating 0 to 5.
Group support is of essence for me. I have a couple of live support groups and do online TW forums and classes. I know in this area I have to keep myself accountable and like the book of James says confess my faults to someone so they can pray for me.
I will continue to post about lessons the Lord is teaching me. My prayer is that at least one person will be helped and that God will be glorified.

breakfast

2008-04-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

I have struggled with breakfast. I want to eat as soon as I get out of bed whether I am at a 0 or not. I changed my morning routine and started getting dressed, drinking some water and then doing some Bible study. Then I am not eating until I hit 0. I am amazed how good the food tastes when I am truly hungry. Also it is later, like 8am before I sense true hunger. Then it is noon before I am hungry again. The Bread of Life is starting my day much better and sustaining me so much better than physical bread.

A little more of my story.
After going through this episode of anorexia I ate more and gained some of the weight back. Then when I was 16 years old Mom died of cancer. I felt nauseated most of the time and was unable to eat very much so maintained my weight throughout Highschool. I will say that having the weight off I felt a little better about myself and doors opened that may not have if I had stayed so heavy. For one thing I had a date for the prom and was able to participate it phys ed without feeling self conscious. Also I filled out papers and was interviewed and accepted into Nursing school. During 3 years of Nursing School we got all 3 meals in the cafeteria. There was a lot of good food readily available. I took nutrition and learned a lot about different diets for weight loss and disease. When I gained a little I would put myself on a 1200 calorie diet. I told the cooks in the cafeteria and they fixed just the right amount for all 3 meals which was great.
I fluctuated by 20 pounds during that time but never got extremely overweight even though it was a struggle. I dated and married a young man during the last 6 months of school. I did this more out of loneliness than anything and the marriage ended in divorce in less than 2 years.
I will tell you more later, once again hoping someone will be helped. I will try to also include something that is helpful to me presently that you may use if so led by the Lord.

humility

2008-04-17T12:49:00.000-07:00

I had been praying and seeking the Lord because I had gained a couple of pounds and crying out to Him about what a struggle this is and has been nearly my entire life.
The answer I got was that when I am off track, as all of us get offtrack sometimes, it is a lack of humility. I get too confident and start relying on my own strength and my own performance instead of on Him.
The other things He has shown me are that everything will fall into line in my life when I truly put Him first and that when my motive is His glory instead of my own this will work. When I do these things not only will the weight come off but it will stay off. So my struggle is not to lose weight but to put Him and His desires above my own and to walk in humility and obedience.
My motives can't be to look cute, fit into a certain size, have people praise me, or to get attention. My motives must be for His glory.

Having said this, I will tell you a little about the bout with anorexia when I was about 14.
When I released all of this weight I got lots of attention. People telling me how good I looked and noticing me for the first time in a positive way. My Mother even started being nicer to me and bought me some new clothes. I thought if thin was good thinner would be better. I dieted until I weighed 117 which according to the bmi charts would be ok but for someone with my bone structure it is not enough. My ribs and clavicle stuck out, my pelvic bones protruded, menses stopped, my hair fell out and I became hypothyroid. My Mother took me to the Doctor. Back then there was not a term anorexia that I knew of. The Doctor told me I was too thin. He told me about what he thought I should weigh. Since I dieted because the boys at school said awful things about my body, my mind was very sensitive to what anyone said about this. Thank God the Doctor did tell me this, though, because I started eating a little more because I believed him. the bout with anorexia lasted only for about a year. I am so glad as I have seen others who have died from this.
When I continue my story I will tell about the chronic dieting and episodes of bulimia.

my story

2008-04-16T12:14:00.000-07:00

Today I will tell a little more of my story and hope someone can relate.
I ended with age 8. I continued to overeat and have a relationship with food. Food was my friend that was always there to comfort me and make me feel better. It also isolated me so really was not my friend. I was unable to participate in sports or run hard and play like the other children. Plus I was the only overweight child in my class. Of course I got bullied a lot. I think overweight children are bullied worse than any other group of children. My nickname was bloat. The abuse was so bad I hid in the classroom during recess and peeked out the window at the other children to watch them play. My Mother made special clothes for me or altered them. At least my sisters and brother never picked on me at home about my weight but seemed to accept me.
When I was 12 years old I weighed 185 pounds. I am 5'2".
I overhearn my Mom and one of her friends talking about a diet in which you ate one portion of what you want for lunch and split breakfast between supper and breakfast. I thought that was a good idea. By now the teachers at school were even making little comments to me and suttle hints about my weight. I felt pretty unloved and unaccepted. My Mother and I were not getting along during this period of time either.
I started this diet I heard my Mom and her friend talking about. I did this with no support. In fact we had an Aunt living with us that said in front of the whole family that I would not stick with it and made a kind of face to which noone came to my defense.
I ate toast and juice for breakfast, ate school lunch and a bowl of cereal for supper and rode my bicycle for about an hour every evening. I continued to do this every day never letting up.
By my 14th Birthday I weighed 117 pounds. My motive was for the other children to quit making fun of me. I decided I would diet until they stopped calling me names.
The next part of my story will tell how I then had a bout with anorexia.

8 keys

2008-04-15T08:51:00.000-07:00

For those who are not familiar with this way of eating I will tell you about the 8 keys to conscious eating that Thin Within teaches. As an adult I had to relearn how to eat. To not only pause, reflect, and pray before eating but to learn these concepts and put them into practice.

1. Eat only when my body is hungry. This means stomach hunger. That ache or growl or whatever your signal is.
2. Eat in a calm environment by reducing distractions. That is, turn off the tv, don't answer the phone etc. We tend to eat in a hurried manner if the environment is that way.
3. I ate when I was sitting. If I eat running through the house or driving in the car I tend to eat more.
4. I ate when my body and mind were relaxed. When I am relaxed I eat more slowly and enjoy the food more.
5. I ate and drank the things my body enjoyed. No more diet foods or food rules for me.
6. I paid attention to my food while eating. When I pay attention I not only enjoy my meal more, but also tend to eat more slowly.
7. I ate slowly savoring each bite. I have noticed it takes time for me to sense satisfaction. If I eat too fast I go beyond that point.
8. I stopped before my body was full. To me this is when the hunger disappears. If I eat to the point of slight fullness I have eaten too much.
It takes about a fistful, or some say a cupful, to reach that point.
I will tell more of my story at a later post. I wanted to share this today.

my story

2008-04-14T13:41:00.000-07:00

I will tell you my story in several different writings. My hope and prayer is that God will be glorified and that someone that reads this will find help.
Perhaps my story is somewhat like your story.
My earliest memories of being overweight are when I was about 8 years old. I remember being larger than the other children. I know that I began a relationship with food even at that age. I sat in the back seat of the car after trick or treating and ate the whole bag of candy in about 10 minutes. I remember eating a whole stack of pancakes for supper and sneaking into my Moms desserts and eating a good portion before it could be served.
I think what triggered this was feeling ashamed of who I was and since negative emotional expresssions such as anger were not allowed in my home I learned to stuff them.
I fell and broke my nose when I was 5 and it was mashed to the side of my face. The plastic surgeeon would not do surgery until I reached my full growth so I spent my childhood looking very odd. I became ashamed of my face and always tried to keep my hand over my nose so noone could see how ugly I was.

That is enough of my story for today. Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.
For those of us who have struggled with eating disorders there is usually an emotional hurt underneath. If we can get to the root of that and grieve out the hurt and bring our honest feelings before the Lord He will begin to heal us.

Holy struggle

2008-04-13T17:40:00.000-07:00

As I just read in the book Thin Again by Arthur and Judy Halliday, This is indeed a Holy struggle.
The flesh versus the Spirit. The flesh wants to overeat and go to food for emotional needs. The Lord wants me to have self control and do all things for the glory of God.
As I go to the Lord to meet my needs the desire for food becomes less.
When I ask Him for ways of escape and to lead me not into temptation but deliver me from evil, He will gladly repond. My part is to heed His voice and obey Him and not what my flesh wants.