Tuesday, August 26, 2008


Prayer does change things. Most of all it changes me. I am working on the first TW workbook and the topic this week is prayer. It is such a privilege to live today under the new Covenant. To know that because of Jesus we can go into the Holy of Holies.
I find it interesting that as I pray for a person who has offended me I start having a heart change and get a whole new perspective.

Monday, August 18, 2008

He is the Lord that healeth

I have found that in leading support groups and in one on one counsel I receive more than I could ever give.
In both support groups I have been talking about the importance of hitting this healing hard so we can leave the past behind. I am trying to practice what I am asking of others.
As I work through the past and unwrap the grave clothes and allow God and others to help me in this process I can sense healing in my own soul.
As I have journaled and prayed about my childhood and talked to others about it truth has come forth.
I had a memory of when my Mom was talking on the phone and had apple pie cut in pieces cooling on the table for the threshers to eat. I did not think she could see me so I took a bite of each piece of pie. One piece I took a big bite out of. My Mom really shamed me for doing this.
I was about 7 years old. My punishment was to eat with all those men at the dinner table. My Sister served me the half eaten piece of pie after the other men were served there pie and she said "here is your piece of pie". The family really smiled about that. I felt ashamed of eating even then. Like I did not even deserve to eat. I felt like I had to hide to eat. This feeling later manifested in binging, bulimia, and anorexia.
I know my Mom did the best she could but what I needed was for her or someone to talk to me about why I felt the need to hide and eat. The last thing I needed was more shame heaped on me in front of a table full of men.
I am so glad I can tell the Lord how I feel about all of this and even in old age it is not too late to receive healing.
As I talked to the Lord about this and cried until I was exausted the load started feeling lighter.
After I was done journaling, crying, and praying I just sat quietly in the Lords presence. After a few minutes I heard Him singing to me in my spirit. " I am the Lord that healeth thee I am the Lord your Healer. I forgive all your sins I heal all your disease. I am the Lord that healeth.

Friday, August 15, 2008


I am journaling about my journey in life and as I journal I pray, grieve, and sometimes talk to a person about it. I am finding that as I get rid of the garbage in my life and learn to forgive myself and others I am not as concerned about eating or my body and I rarely overeat. This works. God is good. He is faithful.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

inner healing

I woke up at 130 am on Thursday and felt like the Lord was speaking to me. Memories of childhood and previous times in my life were coming to me. How I had felt so alone and like I had to do it all myself. I attached to food, work, books, and relationships. I am learning to let go of these false gods and turn to the Lord for all my needs.
My God will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory.