surrender and boundaries

I am talking about surrender and boundaries this evening at Thin Within. Lord, help me to practice what I preach. Help me to acknowledge you in all my ways and you will direct my paths. Help me to ask for wisdom, because as I ask for wisdom you are more than willing to give me wisdom. Help me to set Godly boundaries and allow only in my life, property, and body what you want. In Jesus Name, Amen

Love

We had 2 good messages at church yesterday. In the morning it was about seizing the moment. In the evening about love.
Today God is speaking to me more about love. What would happen if I would stop before every action and word and pray and think is this love?
Love God and love people. This really is what God wants from us.
Part of loving God is caring for my body since this is His creation. Part of loving people is caring for my body.
After working in the medical field for over 40 years I have found that if I do not take care of myself someone else will have to do that. This is how loving people comes into play.

reflex or reflect

I love part 2 of chapter 8 from the book Thin Again. I want to learn to apply this to every area of my life.
When tempted to react to anger with anger or to arguing with arguing I want to learn to pause, think, pray and listen to God before speaking.
When I am tempted to binge or overeat I want to be able to pause, pray and listen before acting.
Help me to hear your voice, Lord and to obey you in everything. Help me to know your Word so well that I will automatically know what to do according to your Word.

Victory

I am thinking of all of the changes that have gradually taken place in my heart and my eating habits since beginning this program.
I learned of TW in 2004 and began practicing the things taught. I had done WD before. I have now been at my ideal body weight for over 4 years. Within my normal bmi since Jan. of 2004 and at my current weight since Nov. of 2004.
I have never maintained weight in my life for more than about a year and a half. In my heart I know this is a permanent thing because for the first time I have included God and have not tried to do this in my own strength.
Some of the victories I have had:
Last night my husband and I went to the movies. We were about the only ones there without popcorn, candy, and drinks. Do you know that I did not even want any? I just wanted to hold my husbands hand and enjoy the movie.
I rarely think about food unless I am hungry. If I do think about food when not hungry I know something else is bothering me that needs dealt with.
I have not binged in over 4 years.
I rarely eat when not hungry or beyond satisfied.
I enjoy my meals and what I eat for the first time in my life.
I no longer take body measuremnts or weigh.
I am at peace with my body. Wrinkles, gray hair and all.
I no longer worry about my shape or size. I pray a lot about my eating, don't eat unless hungry, stop when satisfied and leave the results up to my loving Heavenly Father.
I thank you so much, Jesus for making these changes in me. I would have never thought it possible to be set free from this bondage of over 40 years, but you have set me free and I am free indeed.

Prayer

Prayer does change things. Most of all it changes me. I am working on the first TW workbook and the topic this week is prayer. It is such a privilege to live today under the new Covenant. To know that because of Jesus we can go into the Holy of Holies.
I find it interesting that as I pray for a person who has offended me I start having a heart change and get a whole new perspective.

He is the Lord that healeth

I have found that in leading support groups and in one on one counsel I receive more than I could ever give.
In both support groups I have been talking about the importance of hitting this healing hard so we can leave the past behind. I am trying to practice what I am asking of others.
As I work through the past and unwrap the grave clothes and allow God and others to help me in this process I can sense healing in my own soul.
As I have journaled and prayed about my childhood and talked to others about it truth has come forth.
I had a memory of when my Mom was talking on the phone and had apple pie cut in pieces cooling on the table for the threshers to eat. I did not think she could see me so I took a bite of each piece of pie. One piece I took a big bite out of. My Mom really shamed me for doing this.
I was about 7 years old. My punishment was to eat with all those men at the dinner table. My Sister served me the half eaten piece of pie after the other men were served there pie and she said "here is your piece of pie". The family really smiled about that. I felt ashamed of eating even then. Like I did not even deserve to eat. I felt like I had to hide to eat. This feeling later manifested in binging, bulimia, and anorexia.
I know my Mom did the best she could but what I needed was for her or someone to talk to me about why I felt the need to hide and eat. The last thing I needed was more shame heaped on me in front of a table full of men.
I am so glad I can tell the Lord how I feel about all of this and even in old age it is not too late to receive healing.
As I talked to the Lord about this and cried until I was exausted the load started feeling lighter.
After I was done journaling, crying, and praying I just sat quietly in the Lords presence. After a few minutes I heard Him singing to me in my spirit. " I am the Lord that healeth thee I am the Lord your Healer. I forgive all your sins I heal all your disease. I am the Lord that healeth.

forgive

I am journaling about my journey in life and as I journal I pray, grieve, and sometimes talk to a person about it. I am finding that as I get rid of the garbage in my life and learn to forgive myself and others I am not as concerned about eating or my body and I rarely overeat. This works. God is good. He is faithful.