Prayer does change things. Most of all it changes me. I am working on the first TW workbook and the topic this week is prayer. It is such a privilege to live today under the new Covenant. To know that because of Jesus we can go into the Holy of Holies.
I find it interesting that as I pray for a person who has offended me I start having a heart change and get a whole new perspective.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
He is the Lord that healeth
I have found that in leading support groups and in one on one counsel I receive more than I could ever give.
In both support groups I have been talking about the importance of hitting this healing hard so we can leave the past behind. I am trying to practice what I am asking of others.
As I work through the past and unwrap the grave clothes and allow God and others to help me in this process I can sense healing in my own soul.
As I have journaled and prayed about my childhood and talked to others about it truth has come forth.
I had a memory of when my Mom was talking on the phone and had apple pie cut in pieces cooling on the table for the threshers to eat. I did not think she could see me so I took a bite of each piece of pie. One piece I took a big bite out of. My Mom really shamed me for doing this.
I was about 7 years old. My punishment was to eat with all those men at the dinner table. My Sister served me the half eaten piece of pie after the other men were served there pie and she said "here is your piece of pie". The family really smiled about that. I felt ashamed of eating even then. Like I did not even deserve to eat. I felt like I had to hide to eat. This feeling later manifested in binging, bulimia, and anorexia.
I know my Mom did the best she could but what I needed was for her or someone to talk to me about why I felt the need to hide and eat. The last thing I needed was more shame heaped on me in front of a table full of men.
I am so glad I can tell the Lord how I feel about all of this and even in old age it is not too late to receive healing.
As I talked to the Lord about this and cried until I was exausted the load started feeling lighter.
After I was done journaling, crying, and praying I just sat quietly in the Lords presence. After a few minutes I heard Him singing to me in my spirit. " I am the Lord that healeth thee I am the Lord your Healer. I forgive all your sins I heal all your disease. I am the Lord that healeth.
In both support groups I have been talking about the importance of hitting this healing hard so we can leave the past behind. I am trying to practice what I am asking of others.
As I work through the past and unwrap the grave clothes and allow God and others to help me in this process I can sense healing in my own soul.
As I have journaled and prayed about my childhood and talked to others about it truth has come forth.
I had a memory of when my Mom was talking on the phone and had apple pie cut in pieces cooling on the table for the threshers to eat. I did not think she could see me so I took a bite of each piece of pie. One piece I took a big bite out of. My Mom really shamed me for doing this.
I was about 7 years old. My punishment was to eat with all those men at the dinner table. My Sister served me the half eaten piece of pie after the other men were served there pie and she said "here is your piece of pie". The family really smiled about that. I felt ashamed of eating even then. Like I did not even deserve to eat. I felt like I had to hide to eat. This feeling later manifested in binging, bulimia, and anorexia.
I know my Mom did the best she could but what I needed was for her or someone to talk to me about why I felt the need to hide and eat. The last thing I needed was more shame heaped on me in front of a table full of men.
I am so glad I can tell the Lord how I feel about all of this and even in old age it is not too late to receive healing.
As I talked to the Lord about this and cried until I was exausted the load started feeling lighter.
After I was done journaling, crying, and praying I just sat quietly in the Lords presence. After a few minutes I heard Him singing to me in my spirit. " I am the Lord that healeth thee I am the Lord your Healer. I forgive all your sins I heal all your disease. I am the Lord that healeth.
Friday, August 15, 2008
forgive
I am journaling about my journey in life and as I journal I pray, grieve, and sometimes talk to a person about it. I am finding that as I get rid of the garbage in my life and learn to forgive myself and others I am not as concerned about eating or my body and I rarely overeat. This works. God is good. He is faithful.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
inner healing
I woke up at 130 am on Thursday and felt like the Lord was speaking to me. Memories of childhood and previous times in my life were coming to me. How I had felt so alone and like I had to do it all myself. I attached to food, work, books, and relationships. I am learning to let go of these false gods and turn to the Lord for all my needs.
My God will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory.
My God will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
key 5
This is my favorite key. I was on legalistic diets for so long with a lot of food rules. It still amazes me that I can eat foods I really enjoy and feel good and still maintain the weight release. Before maintenance I was amazed that I actually released weight while eating my favorite foods.
Today our neighbor brought homemade applesauce which was still warm. I went to town and bought icecream and had that applesauce with icecream for lunch and nothing else. I was at a strong 0 so it really tasted good. Thank you God for this new found freedom
I also must remember that even though all things are lawful not all things are beneficial. Also to eat in moderation and always invite God to guide decisions.
For example I like the taste of folgers coffee in the evening but if I drink it I am awake most of the night so it is not a good choice for me. I like pizza but have swelling in my fingers and legs if I eat a couple of pieces so it is not a good choice.
Today our neighbor brought homemade applesauce which was still warm. I went to town and bought icecream and had that applesauce with icecream for lunch and nothing else. I was at a strong 0 so it really tasted good. Thank you God for this new found freedom
I also must remember that even though all things are lawful not all things are beneficial. Also to eat in moderation and always invite God to guide decisions.
For example I like the taste of folgers coffee in the evening but if I drink it I am awake most of the night so it is not a good choice for me. I like pizza but have swelling in my fingers and legs if I eat a couple of pieces so it is not a good choice.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
weightism
What is weightism? Weightism is the same as racism or being sexist. Do we accept ouselves right now the way we are or are we being weightist against ourselves. Do we allow others to be weightist with us?
If I can't accept and love myself when I am heavy I probably will not when not heavy. If I do release the weight without accepting myself I will probably be weightist toward others who are struggling when the weight is released.
Are there any areas of prejudice in my life that are displeasing to the Lord who loves all people, all shapes and all sizes.
If I can't accept and love myself when I am heavy I probably will not when not heavy. If I do release the weight without accepting myself I will probably be weightist toward others who are struggling when the weight is released.
Are there any areas of prejudice in my life that are displeasing to the Lord who loves all people, all shapes and all sizes.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
valuable
This morning during my prayer and Bible study I felt like the Lord was telling me that He loves me. That I am valuable and precious to Him. He loves me enough to die for me.
Oh Lord, if only we could see ourselves through your eyes. I wept as you told me of your love. Forgive me Lord for the way I have treated this body and soul that you regard as precious. That you created. Forgive me for the way I have allowed others to treat me, your prized possession. Help me to treat myself and others as valuable and loved. To see us the way you see us.
In Jesus Name, Amen
Oh Lord, if only we could see ourselves through your eyes. I wept as you told me of your love. Forgive me Lord for the way I have treated this body and soul that you regard as precious. That you created. Forgive me for the way I have allowed others to treat me, your prized possession. Help me to treat myself and others as valuable and loved. To see us the way you see us.
In Jesus Name, Amen
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)