Sunday, November 23, 2008

a breaking of my will

During early prayer at Church this morning the thought came to me that I am like a wild horse that had to be brought into the will of its Master in order to be used for the purpose for which it was created. I weep as my will is being broken and as I pray over and over again, not my will but thine be done, Jesus.
It is my will to overeat because it tastes good and temporarily relieves stress. It is God's will that I glorify Him in my body because my body is the Temple of the Holy Ghost.
I think how Jesus gave up His place of glory to come to earth and that all He did was to glorify the Father and how he agonized in Gethsemane when He yielded to the Father's will that night.
I had many selfish dreams for my retirement. To travel, lay around and read novels, rest a lot, spend lots of time running around with my Husband. Not so. Christians who retire do not get to retire. We are here a short period of time and to live for self is not the desire of the heart of God.
How does God feel about the homeless and the Fatherless? We can easily find that out in the Word. My desire is to have the house to ourselves. We have one of our adult children living with us who would otherwise be living on the streets. Help me to be happy with your will, God. We help care for Grandchildren two of whom have a Father who is not there often and another whose Father is very sick and unable to be a Father. Not my will but thine be done, God. Help me be happy with your will.
In the food area, the old me would have thought I will eat whatever and however much I want on Thanksgiving. The will of God is that I glorify Him even on this day and that I focus on Him and my relationship with Him and on my relationship with others and not be a glutton on that day but to show others that I can be happy without worship of food or self.

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